Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
