No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
