nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
