My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize