the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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