he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
