I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
