I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
