rhymes with "ouble enetration"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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