Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
