I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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