if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
