i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
