in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
