if i died would you start the facebook group?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
