sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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