D3 body, D1 cock
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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