I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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