You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
