just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I will be naked everywhere
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
