just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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