Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
