Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I forget how to act sober
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
