Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
