don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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