drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
