God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
