Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
