but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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