Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
