Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
