Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
