so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
