I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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