you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
