Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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