my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
