I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
