i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
