everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
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