are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
