After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
