the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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