you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
