I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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