no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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