I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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