dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
