i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
