Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
