I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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