Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
