Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
