Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
